Saturday

Agrajag

Name: Agrajag

AKA: Bowl of Petunias, Rabbit, Fish, Old Man with a weak heart, Fly, Newt, Flea, Innocent Bystander, among others

Location: Cathedral of Hate

Novel: Life, the Universe, and Everything

Author: Douglas Adams



Natural History:
Agrajag was a victim of coincidence and reincarnation. He was a mad fat bat that was black, bloated, wrinkled, and leathery. Small, only about three-quarters the size of a human, and cranky.

His bat wings were broken and floundering, giving him a rather frightful appearance. He also had the most astounding collection of teeth. Each tooth looked as if it came from a different animal and stuck out at bizarre angles. It seemed that if Agrajag tried to chew anything he would lacerate half his own face. Quite often he did just that, covering those lacerations with small, ragged, black band-aids. He had three small eyes that gave him a look of intensity and insanity.

He lived in a place called the Cathedral of Hate - a location he created just to destroy Arthur Dent, the human responsible for killing every reincarnation of Agrajag, just by coincidence. The inside of the Cathedral was dark, but not just black - it contained more horrific colors like Ultra Violent, Infra Dead, Liver Purple, Loathsome Lilac, Matter Yellow, Burnt Hombre, and Gan Green. Gargoyles looked inward from pillars towards a great statue. The walls were covered with engraved stone tablets, commemorating those that had fallen under Arthur Dent. The statue in the center was of Arthur Dent in a monstrous, over-exaggerated, ravenous, evil form with thirty arms, each destroying some poor animal, and many feet that were stamping mostly ants.

The Cathedral of Hate was clearly created by a creature that had reached a level of annoyance the like of which had never been seen in the Universe. It was an annoyance of epic proportions, a burning, searing flame of annoyance, an annoyance that had spanned the whole of time and space in its infinite umbrage.

It was not clear if this reincarnation was his last, as we would unfortunately meet Arthur Dent again on Stavromula Beta.


"Seems a strange way to relate to somebody you've got nothing against, killing them all the time. Very curious piece of social interaction, I would call it." -Agrajag


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